안녕하세요. 토미입니다.
Today, I will discuss the Positive and Negative sides of Age-based culture in Korea.
In Korea, asking about age is often the first thing people do when they get to know each other.
This is because, in Korean culture, younger people have to be more polite and show respect to older people in many ways.
On the other hand, older people also have to take care of younger people.
Of course, every culture is unique and sounds the way it is, but it also has some negative sides.
So, let’s look at the 2 bright sides and 2 negative sides of the seniority culture in Korea.
Bright side 1
Older people have more responsibility and support younger people.
Bright side 2
Korean people generally respect elders through their language and attitude.
So, you can feel the kindness of its culture.
Negative side 1
Older people have more right to express their opinions out loud while younger people have to follow.
Negative side 2
The younger one has to serve the elders in general.
This is my opinion, as I have lived in Korea for ten years.
Let’s see my points in more detail!
그럼 시작할게요!
Pros and Cons of Age-based Culture
Bright side 1： An older person has more responsibility and supports younger people.
Let’s look at the beautiful aspects of age-based culture first.
In Korea, older people have more responsibility and care for younger people.
So, for example, if you are a college student and know some older students (선배) in your department, here is some good news.
They will often take you out for lunch or a drink; of course, it is on them, the older students.
This is a typical way of Koreans being older and caring for their younger members (후배).
They will pay for your lunch as well as their meal.
It might sound uneconomical for the older students in their community, but people in Korea are happy to treat you.
And it is prevalent in Korean culture.
They treat you like a real brother or sister, and you also call them oppa, eonni, nuna, or hyeong, as you call your real siblings.
So, relationships with others can be very close, like family in Korea.
Bright side 2： High respect for older people
Second, Korean people treat older people with high respect.
This is because Confucianism strongly influenced Korean culture.
You can see it in Korean.
In Korean, there are 존댓말 “honorific language” and 반말 “casual language.”
You use 존댓말 with your older people, such as your teachers, boss, or grandparents.
You use 반말 with your same-age friends or younger ones.
I will give you an example for 존댓말.
You guys know 먹다 is “to eat.”
Did you guys know this word has a level of politeness?
If you look at the table, it becomes like this.
| Politeness | to eat |
| Highly polite | 잡수시다 |
| Very polite | 식사하시다, 드시다 |
| Polite / Casual | 먹다 |
먹다 can be polite or casual, and the following polite expression is 식사하시다 or 드시다, and a highly polite expression can be 잡수시다.
You can say 밥 먹었어요? Did you eat a meal? like this.
This is also 존댓말 because it finished with 요.
However, if you use this with older people, it could be awkward and rude.
In this case, you should upgrade honorific forms by using 식사하시다, 드시다, or 잡수시다.
These meanings are also the same as 먹다 “to eat.”
But, you can show your sincere respect towards your elders.
So, it is more appropriate to say:
밥 드셨어요? / 식사하셨어요? / 진지 잡수셨어요?
All of them mean, “Did you eat a meal?”
Culturally, these expressions are more appropriate and natural to say to elders.
As you can see from the language, it is very clear that Korean people have a culture that sincerely respects their elders.
Negative side 1： Older people have more power over decisions than younger people
Now, you may feel that the oppa, eonni culture is heartwarming and beautiful as it shows the family-like social relationship of Koreans.
However, if you have lived in Korea as a member of their culture for a long time, you may experience some negative sides of the age-based relationship in Korea.
So, now let’s highlight its downsides.
As I mentioned at the beginning, in the oppa, eonni culture, younger people have to show more respect to older people.
In other words, older people often take the initiative in making decisions, and younger people can only accept and follow them.
Another case is at your workplace when discussing an important thing with your older colleague.
You have a good idea, so share your thoughts with your colleagues.
Then, when he or she does not agree with what you say, and you still try to persuade him to adopt your proposal, denying their opinion will lead to an unfortunate consequence in your relationship.
The colleague will get upset, and no matter how great your ideas are, your opinion will not be accepted if your senior member disagrees.
This sometimes impedes innovation, compared to Western countries, where people exchange opinions more casually.
In this way, older people take initiative in conversations, and younger people’s opinions could be readily overlooked.
Negative sides： The younger one has to serve the elders during meals
There is another downside to the culture where age is a big deal in social situations.
As I mentioned earlier, when it comes to having a meal together, the older person will pay for your meal, which sounds attractive to the younger one.
However, always becoming the younger one in your community and being treated by your seniors will not be as good as you think.
You are expected to do many things while eating, especially when eating Samgyeopsal, grilled pork belly, and a glass of soju at a Korean BBQ restaurant.
First, you should be in charge of the grilling for your seniors.
Seniors are busy talking about stories they want to tell you or something they think will be valuable and helpful.
So, it is preferable for you to voluntarily prepare the meal so they can concentrate on talking about what they want and feel respected.
Sometimes, they would give out the portions to you to ensure you are eating well, but most of the time, you should be responsible for serving them to show appreciation.
Secondly, you should keep an eye on the senior’s glass all the time.
In Korea, it is considered rude or unattentive to let others’ glasses be empty for a while.
So, if you did not keep the seniors’ glasses filled, they would think you were there just for the meal and not paying enough attention to the host.
Therefore, carefully observe the speed at which they drink soju and ensure the glass is immediately filled again.
Moreover, Korea is famous for its drinking culture, and when your senior offers you one more glass of alcohol, it is the manner to accept and drink it with gratitude.
Besides that, there are more etiquettes you need to keep in mind when being with your seniors.
Spending time with your seniors is good, but the supposed relaxing dinner time could become nervous and uncomfortable where age matters.
Summary
As you learned from these examples above, the oppa, eonni, nuna, or hyeong culture significantly affects how Korean people of different ages communicate.
The concept of social relationship or hierarchy, which Confucianism strongly affects, emerges as their inflexible way of thinking, consciously or unconsciously, having traditionally existed in Korea.
After looking through these positive and negative sides of the culture, what opinion do you have?
Whether you like it or not, getting to know several aspects of one culture is fascinating.
If you are interested, I recommend visiting Korea or watching Korean dramas to find more interesting characteristics of the culture.
그럼 오늘도 행복 가득, 웃음 가득한 하루 되세요！ 한국어 화이팅, 화이팅, 화이팅！！
